A Kodak Moment

So, apparently Kodak are going into administration. This makes me sad. It also makes my prospective project a little poignant. Last week I decided that I spend far too much time behind the camera rather than enjoying the moment, consequently I have decided to document this entire term only via disposable camera. I'm allowed to use my digital for blog posts etc. but if I want to capture memories then I need to use this little Kodak beauty. I figured that because I won't be able to see the instant outcome of the photograph and developing film is expensive, I will take less photos and spend more time IN THE MOMENT whilst still having something to remember it by.

I'm really, really excited. I had forgotten how much fun disposable cameras are and I can't wait to see what the photos look like. They're also 2 for 1 in Boots at the moment, so a MASSIVE bargain.

Who's with me!???

Things I've Learnt:

Last weekend I went on a retreat with my old church. We talked a lot about role models and how they can define, derive and direct, at the same time as influence, impress and inspire. I think it's important to recognise that role-models are not necessarily people, they can also be styles, movements, trends, technology, attitudes. ANYTHING. The church is infamous for having role models, mostly in a good way, but sometimes it's so easy to turn good role models into idols. Christians, myself included, are hugely susceptible to idolising preachers, worship bands, super churches, mission organisations and jobs in the church above Jesus. Whilst these things are often good and praiseworthy they can get in the way of the purpose of faith. I don't want to be someone who imitates others, I don't want to be in a church that tries to be exactly like another church. I am, however, interested in imitating Jesus so I can be who he's created me to be and being in a congregation that pursues Jesus' heart for their community. That way I can be free.

Free:

...to be my forgiven self.

...to follow Jesus wherever he leads ME.

...to face 'risk' without being ruled by it.

...to celebrate other's blessing.

...to be part of HIS community.

The Gloves

DISASTER. Snow is forecasted and I have no gloves (only scabby ones sent to me by Mum 'love you!') so instead of rushing down to Primark to buy a cheap pair of little mitts, I walked to the vintage shop in the Arcade where I found these Norwegian wool gloves. I had to spend a bit more than I would have done in Primark, but I'm definitely going to make sure I don't lose these because they're SO beautiful! Very happy with my ethical purchase. Also, everyone check out the vintage shop in the Arcade, the woman who runs it is an absolute gem!

The Workspace

I have a workspace fetish. This does not mean, much to my parents dismay, that my own workspace is ever particularly tidy or organised, instead it means I stare at my desk and wish that I had some sort of Matilda-like power to move everything around without having to lift a finger. This has yet to happen. Thus I have to satisfy my craving for lovely workspaces by browsing tumblr, there is, I kid you not, an entire blog dedicated to displaying workspaces and yes of course I'm a diehard fan.

Here's Mine:

I would just like to say, that I was watching Gilmore Girls in Italian and therefore it counts as revision!

Everyone tells you that a good working environment will increase productivity. For my friend Katie, her workspace is simply her bed. I can't work from my bed because I will just fall asleep and tell myself that napping is healthy and will certainly increase my output once my brain has had a little rest. I also find it extremely hard to work in my room, not because I get distracted by DVDs or my typewriter, or books, or making tea or coffee, no for some reason I seem to find my walls exceedingly interesting, I just sit and stare at my them, FOR HOURS. I can do creative work in my room, like writing blogs or letters or play ideas into little notebooks. I can have my quiet time in my room because I have it, for the most part, a place of rest. Sometimes, I can might be able to read a journal article but only if I find it interesting, it has to FEEL like recreation.

So, my solution: find a good library. By good library, I mean one that makes you feel brainy and inspires you to be like Rory Gilmore or Hermione Grainger. Although I love the ASS (arts and social sciences library) the colour choices (lime, purple and grey) sometimes make me feel a bit queasy. Also, their coffee is horrendous and overpriced. Last year I found the library that ACTUALLY makes me work: the Wills Memorial Library. There are two options, the law section or the earth sciences section and they're both as pretty as the other. I LOVE THEM. Six hours spent in those four walls generally equals a lot of work getting done. YES.

Where are your most productive workspaces!?

The Perfect Finish

In the past week I have: written an essay, sat three exams, written two cover letters (one in Italian, one in German), completed all of my year abroad forms, attended 2 rehearsals, started a new church (as in attending not creating!), held auditions for The Vigil, travelled across the bridge to have a singing lesson, had my first Thali Cafe meal and learnt how to make a fish tail plait. It has been successful, it has been stressful and it has been blessed. So, after having a very indulgent shower (lots of singing), a very yummy dinner at Zizzi's, half a tub of ice-cream and 10 hours sleep, I can finally sit down and do this...

Mid (academic) Year Crisis

Recent events have pointed to the glaringly obvious fact that I am not a linguist. A communicator? Perhaps. A grammar geek? Wannabe. Languages buff? Wannabe. Can I can pelt a plethora of foreign words into the air accompanied by wild gesticulations to make myself understood? Yes. Will this get me a degree? No. I always thought, that when the linguistic element of my degree was sabotaging my self-worth, I could seek comfort in the essays and presentations of the more cultural aspects. However, my essays have descended into mere brain farts that, though eloquent and enthusiastic, show no sign of a rational, academic mind. I guess, I'm good at certain aspects such as remembering words, but never the ones considered important. For example, I know the Austrian word for mug: 'Häfel'. I'm good at doing further reading and taking pages and pages of notes, but actually writing an essay? No, no, no. So here I am, sat at my desk, drinking Lady Grey tea and stuffing my poor self-pitying face with chocolate and wondering why on earth I chose to do a languages degree. It is mid-exam week, so these thoughts, although not helpful, are somewhat explainable. I'm tired of exams. I've had 5 years of constant examination. I'm tired of revision. I'm tired of all the coloured pens and the stupid flash cards and the stupid timetables and the stupid booklets and the candidate number ( I REALLY HATE CANDIDATE NUMBERS!) and squeaky chairs and cold halls and clocks that you can't read. BLAH.

Enough. Just because I can't do my degree, doesn't mean life is hopeless, right!?

At this present moment, these are the things I believe to be good at:

Drinking tea.

. Not answering text messages.

. Moving to music (I hesitate to call myself a dancer, but I can move VERY well)

. Not doing my washing up.

. Reblogging things on tumbr.

. Writing lists.

. Talking.

. Making coffee.

. Singing (on most days)

. Saying 'yes' to everything and filling up my calendar.

. Travelling to places that I've never been and staying with people I don't know.

. Tapping (not tap dancing, but I can put my tap shoes on and make a good racket)

. Miming to Bing Crosby.

. Getting library fines.

. Hoarding. (I recently cleared out my wardrobe and found a cork collection in a Hollywood Bowl pencil case and a vast selection of keyrings - WHY!)

. Starting a project and never completing it.

. Putting on mascara.

. Dressing myself (on most days. Although yesterday I actually looked like Where's Wally)

. Wearing glasses. I have no beef with my blind eye. I do not resent having to wear them.

. Ranting.

. Wearing down the heels of shoes.

. Making a mess.

. Wanting to play the ukulele.

. Buying 'old things' ,like broken film cameras and dusty books, and pretending that they're useful.

. Eating humous.

. Highlighting Bible Verses.

. Watching Gilmore Girls in various languages.

. Making my room smell of coffee.

. Putting on weight

. Reading letters

. Wanting to be Zooey Deschanel

. Laughing

. Gesticulating

. Making sweeping generalisations.

. Sitting in coffee shops pretending to have a deep, creative mind.

. Wikipediaing Musicals whilst listening to the soundtrack on spotify.

. Losing gloves.

What career/degree involves all/some of these things!??

The New Yorker

I woke up yesterday with Sting's 'I'm An Englishman In New York' going round and round in my head - I do THE best move for the 'I'm an alien' part of the song (next time you see me allow me to demonstrate!) Little did I know that the big apple would sort of be a theme for the day. When I finally got home from my slog at the library, what should be waiting on the doormat but a brand spanking new copy of The New Yorker. YAY. I got a mini-subscription to the mag for crimbo and I love it. The articles are always so interested and beautifully written.

These photos are courtesy of Ellie my housemate, who I grabbed as soon as I got home so we could catch the last bit of light. I wore this outfit for a date on Wednesday night and liked it so much that I wore it again the next day (since becoming a student my hygiene standards have slipped dramatically). As much as I dig these trousers, I hardly ever wear them, which is silly because they're so warm and I feel so 'bookish' when wearing them.

This necklace was another €1 bargain from the Paris market, all nice and vintage. I really need to restock my jewellery box, I had a bit of an unfortunate spat last year where all the chains kept breaking. I'm also in desperate need of stud earrings! So perhaps my clothes budget can go towards some new ones. These shoes are honesty my favourite pair of shoes in the WHOLE world. I always dreamed of owning a pair of leather brogues, because they LITERALLY GO WITH EVERYTHING. However, I didn't have £40 to spare. Alas, I got these leather babies off ebay for a mere £6 - C'MON!

I also had some fun using pixlr-o-matic to edit these photos. My friend Fiona introduced me to the website and I'm addicted. It's so fun! For those of you who wanted an iphone for instagram and hipstamatic - check it out! It's free.

The Next Stage of Grief

Trying to remember you

is like carrying water

in my hands a long distance

across sand

Stephen Dobyns

How To Beat The January Blues: Listen To These And Bop

Whenever things get too much, I always crack out some old school tunes and boogie around my room. I call it 'The De-Stress Bop' where you literally bop all the stressyness out of your body. So below I've linked you to some of my favourite bopping tunes. Please, if you're feeling blue, stop what you're doing and just DANCE.

Hall & Oates are so funky. I love there stuff cos it just makes you feel so happy. You'll probably recognise this song from the film 500 Days of Summer (FAVE!) every time I listen to it, I pretend that I'm Tom from the film just strolling down the street all happy-go-lucky. THIS SONG WILL MAKE YOU SMILE.

Whenever I go out on the town I always want them to play this song, it gets everyone on the dance floor and just reminds me of my friend Kate (the irish one) strutting her stuff in Lounge and me trying to copy her (but failing miserably!) Stevie is a classic 'pick-me-up' choice, my bro gave me double-disk of his greatest hits for my birthday once - literally MADE MY LIFE.

I remember this song coming on the radio whilst I was in the car with Dad once, we pretty much shoulder-rolled it all the whole way home and then went straight to the computer to download it off itunes. My housemate Ellie has recently got into Motown and we played this the other night to make us feel all happy and jivey. I like to pretend I'm Beyonce in Dreamgirls, grab a hairbrush and swan around my room lip-synching to all the soulful harmonies.

ENJOY!

How To Beat The January Blues: Get Organised (in a fun way!)

For the past two years I have anticipated the January Blues and bought a DodoPad. This is partly because my Januarys tend to be bursting with exams, revision schedules and rehearsals as well as to-do and to-get lists for the New Year. I have to be organised and tend to rely a lot on my paper diaries or school planners (I still can't do technology when it comes to schedules, mainly because I love the phrase 'I'll just pencil you in' and you can't 'pencil-in' on an iphone!) However, paper diaries can be so dull and intimidating with all that black and white and no space to write little notes (apart from the last couple of pages - pointless). This is where the Dodo-Pad comes in. It's fun, it's spacious, it has places to doodle, it has little boxes so you can plan your day in blocks (LOVE THIS!) and every week the page colours and fonts change, plus there's usually a silly limerick or two flouncing about. This year I went for a mini-pad seeing as half of my year won't be spent at university, so I needed a one that could fit in my handbag (or one of my excessively large coat pockets!) So far, it's continued to exceed my expectations and makes me so happy every time I write a list or 'pencil-in' and appointment. GO BUY ONE - IT'S NOT TOO LATE!

Hobnobbing at Spoons

Hobnobbing:

a) to associate on very friendly terms

b) Archaic: to drink together

So this is a very late outfit post: apologies. I have a confession, I always thought 'Hobnobbing' meant to walk and skip gaily, perhaps whilst knocking one's knobbly knees, alas it doesn't mean that all! It does however explain the context behind this outfit. These photos are actually from just outside Whetherspoons near Park Street and were taken just before we were about to enter said establishment to hobnob with some lovely people from church. YAY.

This outfit was perfect for Sunday. I felt smart enough for church, dressed up enough for lunch with friends, but comfortable enough to go straight to rehearsals afterwards. I'm so glad to see these boots again, they are my favourite winter boots, but they were impossible to wear with my broken foot, because they have a slight heel (which is why I look slightly taller in this picture!) so it is a true testament to my healed foot that they are making an appearance again. However, my favourite part of this outfit is the necklace - I found it for €1 at a street market in Paris and I love how unusual it is. It looks like it's been made out of bark! Hahaha.

I would also like to apologise to all the people who had to witness my ridiculous jumping/outfit post ordeal. Feel free to laugh at me. I can take it.

What The Season Brings: The January Blues

Below is my to-do list. It's horrendous. Most of the entries are continuous, like German grammar and vocab - language learning is never 'done'. RAH. I compiled this list whilst having my lunch break in the library the other day, I got so depressed that I turned it over and started a new list 'How to Beat The January Blues'. I always pay attention to lists, so I thought that by making a list of fun/comforting things 'to-do' I might actually give myself a break and have a little bit of fun. It's so easy to wish January away, there's nothing particularly special going on and there's so much pressure to get going with the New Years' resolutions and most educational institutions foist a load of exams onto their students. I didn't write down anything particularly exciting, just things like 'make a pot of tea' (making a pot of tea rather than a cup of tea dramatically changes the taste. Trust me) and 'use some zingy shower gel'. A lot of people kept picking up my to-do list and showering me with sympathy, only to then turn over and laugh. Yes, I write lists to myself with little notes like 'Watch your favourite TV series - you only have to watch your favourite episodes!', I also take silly photos of myself on photo booth so that when I get overwhelmed by revision, I just have to look up and see my goofy face and it makes me laugh. IT'S CALLED SELF MOTIVATION PEOPLE.

Anyway, I thought as this months' 'What The Season Brings' I might share this little Beat The Blues list, because I'm sure I'm not the only one groaning away the month. That way I can make sure that I actually put the list into action (LOVE blogger accountability) and maybe you too, may no longer feel so blue.

A Sunday Stroll

My bones hold a stillness, the far

Fields melt my heart

Sylvia Plath

This morning was beautiful. I went for a run and felt my heart soar when I saw the view from the Downs. So, I dragged Louis out for a Sunday afternoon stroll. Our mission was to see the sunset on the Suspension Bridge, unfortunately by the time we'd finished eating lunch the clouds had appeared and our view wasn't as spectacular as I had hoped. We did discover a new street, just off Royal York Crescent, all pretty and regal and intentionally hedged in to keep us ragamuffins out. The doors were gorgeous! We were saying how you could just picture a horse drawn carriage clip clopping round the curve and lots of pretty regency ladies stepping out on to the pavement. Our walk also gave us the chance to check out the new Hipstamatic Disposable iphone app - it's really, really cool. It basically acts like a disposable camera (no way, you say?) so you can't see the photos until you've finished the 'film'. I really like how they turned out - these are some of my favourite places in Clifton! It certainly doesn't feel like January - I didn't even need a coat! But it was still cold enough to want to return home for a cup of coffee, chocolate pudding and the final episode of BBC's Pride and Prejudice (Colin Firth is such a dish!) Oh, I do love a good walk on a Sunday!

What do you like to do on a Sunday?

'You'll Feel Better When You Get There'

I can't remember whether the above sentence belongs to my mother or my grandmother, nevertheless its echo bounces and chimes off the dusty walls of my memory, becoming more distinct in times of timidity, laziness, fillness (feigned illness) and dread. It's never the soft and angelic whisper of childhood nostalgia, but rather the piercing, infuriating phrase that is so often proved right: you do feel better when you stop being a wet whiney flannel and face the music, even if you'd much rather snuggle up in a onesie and watch BBC costume dramas on repeat.

One of my favourite photos of Bristol EVER. Taken by Louigi

This time last week the thought of returning to university had foreboding connotations. All I could picture was exams, deadlines, small, messy rooms, mould, cold, incomplete to-do lists, library fines and sleep deprivation. I was supposed to return last Tuesday, but managed to put off returning (properly) until today (I went and had a cheeky visit to my friend Jessie in Warminster, but more on that later.) Mum drove me down yesterday and as we were approaching the city, I was once again enraptured by the deep affection this place evokes within me. The car winded slowly up to Clifton and I couldn't help but grin at all the light, brick buildings, the resplendence of Wills Memorial building and the ethereal beauty of the Avon Gorge. I was reminded of the fact that I really do have two homes now: one is comfort, familiarity and a place to recharge (aka. Bracknell) , the other is adventure, academic opulence, a place to be challenged, a chance flourish (Bristol). When I stepped into my (tidy) room this evening and stared at the arrangment of books and photos and put on my Digital Radio and made my self a cup of tea in my Denby teapot, I felt like such an ungrateful fool for being so reluctant to return.

Things always seem more scary, impossible and stupid when they're just thoughts and fears floating about in your head, but when you actually get on and do them you wonder why you wasted so much time worrying. I am so ready to crack-on with my essays and revision and all the planning that needs to get done for my year abroad. I need to stop making lists (I'm restricting myself to ONE a week!) and just start doing things, more importantly I need to just place all my 'stresses' and 'fears' for the day into God's hands, it's amazing how much more efficient I am when I let him direct my day.

Hate to say it, but my mother (or grandmother) is right: I ALWAYS feel better when I get there.

A Day of Studying

So here is my first outfit post. I haven't graced you with a full length photo of myself, partly because there was no one to take it for me but also because I wanted to mix it up a bit. Did anyone have that Misfits card game where you got to mix up the head, the middle, the knees and the feet of different characters to create a hilarious looking person? Well, I decided to go with the card game feel only sans hilarity (I hope!)

This is my standard 'I've got a long day of reading/note taking/organising' outfit. The main objective is comfort and ease, so naturally I turn to my faithful jumper and leggings combo. Bristol has fuelled my charity shop jumper collection and this particular one is a man's wool/silk dark grey jumper from Gloucester Road. It's large, but has a narrow fit so I can wear it like a jumper dress (because I'm short!) The red scarf was 65p in the Salvation Army shop on Stokes Croft - I originally bought it as a Christmas present but I liked it too much! These socks are from Next and although rather expensive in my eyes, completely worth it. They are so comfortable and they act more as slippers.

Finally, when I decided to leave my study cave and venture out to Santa Fe coffee shop for a change of scenery, I donned this rather wonderful hat (my £5 River Island bargain!) I've always wanted a trapper and this surpasses any of the ones I've tried on before. My ears are SO warm. My faithful TOMS are really as comfy and practical as they are ethical and, unlike the their slip-on siblings, these booties don't make your feet smell and actually have a grippy sole. PARFAIT!

My friend Gemma and I are in the process of creating a blog dedicated solely to this No Clothes For a Year Project, partly to make the process a little more fun for ourselves but also to document DIY Projects, potential pitfalls and any lovely clothes swaps that come our way. WATCH THIS SPACE.

The New Project: NO CLOTHES FOR A YEAR

So many clothes yet nothing to wear: the mantra of the fashionista. Did you know that, on average, women only wear 20% of the wardrobe 80% of the time?! It's RIDICULOUS. After getting ride of 1/3 of my wardrobe over the Summer and STILL not having enough room to store all my clothes, I have decided to be ruthless with myself. Inspired by my friend Gemma and this lovely lady's blog (who pretty much sums up the reason why I want to do this!) I have decided not to buy ANY clothes for a WHOLE year. There are, however, a few rules/exceptions:

1. I can buy underwear and tights. But only on a NEED rather than WANT basis.

2. If I get a job which requires a certain style of clothing or a uniform of sorts (eg. suit/black smart stuff) I may purchase items but ONLY from charity shops or ethical companies.

3. If going to a posh 'do' and none of the dresses in my wardrobe feel appropriate, I may purchase an outfit, but again ONLY from charity shops and ONLY after having raided my friends' wardrobes.

4. I can make clothes with a sewing machine and knitting needles.

To prove to myself and to the blogging world that I have enough clothes in my wardrobe to create outfits for an ENTIRE year, I propose to do AT LEAST one outfit post a week. This will hopefully get me out of my style rut and wearing some of those items of clothing that I can't bear to part with and yet never seem to don. Wish me luck!