Recent events have pointed to the glaringly obvious fact that I am not a linguist. A communicator? Perhaps. A grammar geek? Wannabe. Languages buff? Wannabe. Can I can pelt a plethora of foreign words into the air accompanied by wild gesticulations to make myself understood? Yes. Will this get me a degree? No. I always thought, that when the linguistic element of my degree was sabotaging my self-worth, I could seek comfort in the essays and presentations of the more cultural aspects. However, my essays have descended into mere brain farts that, though eloquent and enthusiastic, show no sign of a rational, academic mind. I guess, I'm good at certain aspects such as remembering words, but never the ones considered important. For example, I know the Austrian word for mug: 'Häfel'. I'm good at doing further reading and taking pages and pages of notes, but actually writing an essay? No, no, no. So here I am, sat at my desk, drinking Lady Grey tea and stuffing my poor self-pitying face with chocolate and wondering why on earth I chose to do a languages degree. It is mid-exam week, so these thoughts, although not helpful, are somewhat explainable. I'm tired of exams. I've had 5 years of constant examination. I'm tired of revision. I'm tired of all the coloured pens and the stupid flash cards and the stupid timetables and the stupid booklets and the candidate number ( I REALLY HATE CANDIDATE NUMBERS!) and squeaky chairs and cold halls and clocks that you can't read. BLAH.
Enough. Just because I can't do my degree, doesn't mean life is hopeless, right!?
At this present moment, these are the things I believe to be good at:
. Not answering text messages.
. Moving to music (I hesitate to call myself a dancer, but I can move VERY well)
. Not doing my washing up.
. Reblogging things on tumbr.
. Writing lists.
. Making coffee.
. Singing (on most days)
. Saying 'yes' to everything and filling up my calendar.
. Travelling to places that I've never been and staying with people I don't know.
. Tapping (not tap dancing, but I can put my tap shoes on and make a good racket)
. Miming to Bing Crosby.
. Getting library fines.
. Hoarding. (I recently cleared out my wardrobe and found a cork collection in a Hollywood Bowl pencil case and a vast selection of keyrings - WHY!)
. Starting a project and never completing it.
. Putting on mascara.
. Dressing myself (on most days. Although yesterday I actually looked like Where's Wally)
. Wearing glasses. I have no beef with my blind eye. I do not resent having to wear them.
. Wearing down the heels of shoes.
. Making a mess.
. Wanting to play the ukulele.
. Buying 'old things' ,like broken film cameras and dusty books, and pretending that they're useful.
. Eating humous.
. Highlighting Bible Verses.
. Watching Gilmore Girls in various languages.
. Making my room smell of coffee.
. Putting on weight
. Reading letters
. Wanting to be Zooey Deschanel
. Making sweeping generalisations.
. Sitting in coffee shops pretending to have a deep, creative mind.
. Wikipediaing Musicals whilst listening to the soundtrack on spotify.
. Losing gloves.
What career/degree involves all/some of these things!??