Edinburgh Adventures part 1

The buzz and empowering atmosphere found at the fringe is nothing short of electrifying. I once described the experience like going to a buffet table covered in yummy, interesting, nutritious food. Although there's lots on offer and pretty much everything catches your eye, you are faintly aware that this is your last chance to try and experience everything on the table. Consequently you over pile your plate and gorge yourself in a theatrical, musical feast leave you feeling bloated with songs and plot lines and slightly nauseous from the amount of money that has been wrenched out of your wallet.

Participating in the Fringe is, so far, a very different experience. You don't overload your plate because you're terrified of being worn out. You wake up every morning convinced that a female octopus called Ursula or something less exciting, like a cold, has crawled down your throat and spitefully stolen your voice. Thus, each day starts with a flurry of hot water, steam, menthol and multivits followed by a trip to a local cafe to sit in silence and contemplate life. Sleep is precious and fiercely guarded. So are afternoon naps and flyering intervals spent sipping tea and chewing raw ginger.

The 10 of us in the production are sharing a flat in the centre of Edinburgh, just a stones throw away from the Udderbelly and C Venues. It's an incredible location. As a group we are an assortment of flavours and textures, some of us are night owls, others are morning birds. A few of us jump at the chance to party all night, whereas other prefer quiet nights in, dancing to jazz in the grubby kitchen and listening to Elgar's Cello Concerto on the sticky, leather sofas.

I'm beginning to appreciate each and every individual personality in the house. They've all grown on me like ivy and mould (in a good sense) and now I'm not quite sure how I did Edinburgh without them. We are a unit, a team and a family and so whatever the critics have to say about our humble opera, however successful our production turns out to be I know I will come away with some cracking stories, great flyering techniques, newly acquired musical knowledge and some brilliant video footage of Jack dancing, my sloth impression and Gemma cooking pasta.

Doubt

So here's my confession: I doubt. Sometimes I doubt so much that my heart feels like it's being swallowed by a gigantic fish. I am terrified of being a souless, purposeless being, whose heart beats at regular intervals and whose life is controlled by the primitive desires of my anatomy.

When I doubt I feel like a failure, I fell like I've been lying to myself and to everyone else around me. Sometimes I'll read God's word and all I see are black and white letters on a flimsy page. Sometimes when I pray and seek God's voice, there is nothing but a wall of deafening silence.

But here's the thing: faith is a choice. What's more, we need faith and doubt to work hand in hand. As John Ortberg says:

I must have truth. therefore I doubt.
I must have hope. Therefore I believe.

Doubting stops us from being deluded and faith stops us from living in despair. If I didn't doubt, then I would have no reason to delve into the solid, factual truths of my faith.

Sometimes I just need to remind myself how God works. After every spout of terrifying doubting, I always arrive back at this conclusion: people who live with Jesus at the centre of their lives (this is not all Christians!!!) live with more purpose, love with more conviction and act with more humility. The lifestyle of people of faith is always, always more appealing to me. Ultimately, I decide that I would rather live my life like their was a God and find out there isn't, than to live my life like their wasn't a God and find out that there is.

Apologies for the changing of fonts - blogger hates me today

The Beginning of an Awfully Big Edinburgh Adventure

I'm on the train up to Edinburgh. I can't quite believe how lucky I am - I'm performing at the Fringe for TWO WHOLE WEEKS. YAY.

This train journey has been beautiful but rowdy. At this present moment, I'm trying desperately and rather unsuccessfully, to drown out the drunken noise that boarded at Newcastle with Puccini. My eyes are heavy and the fold-out table on the chair in front of me looks more and more like a suitable pillow with each passing second.

Whenever I take train journeys through this part of the country I'm always wooed by the impressive and breathtaking beauty of the Northern landscape. Unfortunately, it's now completely dark, so unless we pass a city or a place with lots of street lamps, I only have a horrifically unflattering reflection of my face for company.

I did, however, catch the sunset. As we flew through York, the sky was bright orange, with pink undertones and a purple/grey overcoat. The latter became more and more prominent, along with the motorways, which began to line the countryside like Christmas fairy lights. Interspersed between the rolling darkness was a series of church steeples standing like fire torches against the gathering cloud. Soon there was Durham, with its impressive and almost haunting black cathedral catching me by surprise. We were greeted with fireworks in Newcastle, which acted like a sprinkling like of glitter dust pushing us further toward the fairytale kingdom of Edinburgh.

At Waverly station I was greeted by the Sanctuary Cast (that's the show we're doing by the way, check my twitter for me details!) They were tipsy with drink, whereas I was full on wasted with tiredness. I can't remember much of the journey after this point, all I know is that my face very quickly touched the cool side of the pillow and I was out like a light.

Something For the News: RN Reflections

Ater the riots that have been broadcasted on TV over the last couple of days, it has been overwhelming and encouraging to see 1300 young people in one room determined to change the world for good. These teenagers are channeling that passion, fervour and leadership gifting into a far greater and more worthy cause. This is my first time as a leader at Rock Nations where I have felt significantly older than the teenagers in my care. I still feel like their older sister, but I now have the ability to step-back and truly reflect on how amazing it is to see a 13 year old completely in love with Jesus. There is a real spiritual maturity that emits radiantly from people in our youth group and I feel an outstanding amount of awe and pride at what God has done through us following Liam's leadership.

Over the last couple of days, I have had the privilege of meeting up with 6 beautiful 16-year old girls. Like many of their peers, they are faced with social pressures left, right and cent, to be thin, to be fashionable, to act a certain way, to achieve a certain status. But rather than succumbing to this straight-jacket of physical and social qualities, these young women are empowered by their love for Jesus to act differently. As a result of their faithfulness, their father in heaven has clothed them in a strength and dignity beyond their years.

If you could see how much they love one another, if you could see the way they worship with such reverence and conviction, if you could hear them prophecy, if you could listen to they way they pray, if you could experience the way they place their adolescent frustrations and issues into the hands of God, then you would not, you could not doubt the existence and the supremacy of God and you would not question the significance of Jesus.

I wish these girls had more newspaper coverage, I want these young women on the front of magazines giving lifestyle advice. Their wisdom and dignity does not hinder their fun, it doesn't prevent them from feeling young and making the most out of their teenage years, rather it enriches their entire day-to-day existence. Just spending time with them has brought me so much joy, they are the prettiest, loveliest most fun-loving kind girls, I have ever had the privilege of knowing well. what's more, I know that girls like them have been sprinkled all over the globe and their male counterparts too, are seasoning the earth with their integrity and passion for Jesus. The future for the upcoming generation isn't mindless violence, it isn't debt or a lower standard of living, but rather a passionate protest for people to do good, to love one another as Jesus loved us and to align their lives with the glorious plan God has for them.

Bristol Day 5 - Mocha Mocha

So this is another coffee shop blog - my favourite! Last Friday was just gorgeous in Bristol what with all the sunshine, light breeze and fragrant heat rising off the pavements. I was very proud of my outfit that day too, partly because I made that green skirt myself. I love wearing skirts with waist belts - it makes me feel all girly, swishy and classic. ANYWAY, internet was still a massive issue, but Louis and I decided to try and branch out from our usual Boston Tea Party/Starbucks wifi habit and try new places, so we ended up in Mocha Mocha on St. Michael's hill.

The Location is pretty ideal for students because it's just around the corner from the ASS (arts and social sciences) library, although I have been reliable informed that as a result of this placing, there is often congestion in the coffee queue at peak times. BEWARE. Inside, it exudes the usual warmth and friendliness of coffee establishments, with lovely wood tables of varying sizes (places for couples and intimate chats as well as room for larger groups) with daily newspapers evenly distributed and the all-important chalkboard price lists. I had great banter with the baristas, who were enthusiastic enough to offer be a loyalty card - YEAH MATE. I ordered tea because it was too hot for coffee (I know, I'm a traitor!) and it came in a lovely big mug - just enough to inspire some form of productivity in myself. I have heard from people, who have taste-buds similar to mine and are therefore worthy of recognition and respect, that their coffee is also very good and VERY reasonably priced. They also do a great deal where you get a free pastry with your coffee before 10am (or maybe 11am, I can't remember)

We sat by the window, which is perfect for people-watching and inspiring procrastination when the daily grind gets too much. My chair was a bit too high for the table, so my legs got a bit squashed and I have a lovely dent at the top of my thighs, but that's the price you have to pay for a view, non!? Ironically enough, we left the cafe to grab lunch from Sainsbury's before ending up in Starbucks - our usual wifi hang out. We claim it's because we still needed to use the internet, but really we just wanted to be somewhere a little more familar to eat our bread and houmous.

Bristol Day 6 - Louis' Roof

On Friday night we had dinner on the roof and were pleasantly surprised to find the sky dotted with hot-air balloons. I've never seen so many, so close before. It was one of those balmy summer evenings that fixes itself into your memory as the essence of Summer. Great food, great company, great surroundings. I love being on Louis' roof, because you can see for miles and you're on a roof, which is cool enough in itself.

Naturally, we got a bit camera happy and even after editing, these photos cannot capture the true beauty of those balloons and that sky. They moved in such a deliberate and peaceful manner and the two of us just sat mesmorized by the ever changing, ever re-appearing balls of colour.

Another thing I love about Bristol is all the beautiful houses and I particularly like the ones on Louis' street. There are so many varieties and as much as I try, I lack enough architectural knowledge to describe them justly. I just know that they're pretty and when I see them, I want to make homes in them. I want to invite all my friends to fill the rooms, I want to sit on the roofs with cups of tea and look at skies filled with hot-air balloons and stars and clouds and streaks of sun. I want to create families both biologicial and spiritual within those four walls, I want to invest in communities along their streets. It sounds corny, but they inspire me to establish a life that is brimming with different relationships

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I'm so glad I got to see hot-air balloons soaring through the Bristolian skies, because I'm missing the Bristol International Balloon Fiesta (11th-14th August) There are so many postcards of balloons flying over the suspension bridge and other great landmarks and I just wanted to experience it for myself. Now I have.

Bristol Day 4 - The Rainbow Cafe

So again, this post is 3 days late, but there is no wifi in my house so blogging has become rather awkward and expensive. On account of our serious lack of wireless fidelity, Thursday morning found me sitting in one of my favourite little Clifton gems, The Rainbow Cafe, drinking tea out of a striped pot and taking advantage of their complimentary wifi. I uploaded photos, checked and answered emails, watched the news, booked train tickets, got up-to-date on my blog reading and did a healthy amount of Facebook stalking. Pretty successful morning.

Anyone who has ever experienced Clifton will tell you that there is certainly no gap in the market for cute little cafes - the place is littered with them. The whole village is an educated, middle-class, working from home, yummy mummy, calm business man haven and you could say that there is a suitable coffee hang-out for each social sphere. Louis calls The Rainbow Cafe the 'yummy mummy cafe' and asserted to the whole of Clifton high-street that the place made him broody. I can understand what he means to a certain extent, it does feel like you're sitting in someone's house. It has a very friendly, domestic atmosphere and the menu is incredibly family/allergy/intolerance friendly - they even do a gluten free cream tea. They also serve squash, the crockery is all brightly coloured and the tables are covered with easy-wipe chequered table cloths.

However, The Rainbow Cafe isn't just a place for pushchairs and Cath Kidston nappy bags. Not only does it stay open until 9pm, the place also displays local art, plays local artists' music (and sells their CDs), hosts live music evenings and has a second-hand book shop in one of its alcoves. When I was there on Thursday, the place was quiet but for a few older, loyal locals having a great gossip/catch-up session with the staff. If there's one thing you take away from this particular coffee shop experience, it's the sense of community. It's nothing fancy, but it's wholesome and comforting and lovely. Another jewel in Clifton's coffee shop crown.

Bristol Day 3 - Orpheus Cinema

We all love our cheap cinema tickets but unless someone you know is eligible for a carer or you're taking children to kid's club or maybe you're on that phone network that represents the colour of a tangerine and are ALWAYS ALWAYS free on a Wednesday, then reasonably priced cinema tickets are hard to come by. Oh, and don't get me started on the price (and occasionally the quality of )cinema food. Disgusting. Rip off. Heinous.

Last Wednesday Sophie, Phi and Becky went to Showcase cinemas in Winnersh to see 'Horrible Bosses', it was on orange wednesdays and I was able to use my NUS card, so the ticket prices weren't too blinding. BUT if I was paying for your average-joe of a ticket, it would have cost me £8.00! 8 POUNDS! I can't even mention the food prices because I'll just chuck-up, then there was the quality of food, which was just horrendous, and then the toilets, which were unusable (I had to squat, they were so vile!) and we ended up having to sit right at the front of the cinema (neck cramp anyone?!)

This Wednesday, however, was a very different undertaking. We scrambled up to the downs, barefoot, carrying a Tupperware of rice and a large bottle of water for our pre-film picnic. After catching some rays and chowing down some grub, we continued scampering (Louis' sense of urgency, time and direction often leave something to be desired) to Orpheus Cinema , which is at the top of Cranbook road, on the edge of the Downs. I would describe the cinematic experience as cheap and intimate, but that sounds a little bit like prostitution, so I'll leave you with a quote from their website:

This cinema is part of a Waitrose development that was carried out in the late 1960s and is built on the site of the original Orpheus Cinema. This was a very pleasant, typical 1930s suburban cinema with around 1,500 seats. Pictures are on display on the main entrance stairs.

This is a pleasant neighbourhood cinema in an affluent part of the city which has a very loyal audience and is also enthusiastically supported by the many students in the area... a little gem that still shines!

We saw the Tree of Life and we're still trying to work out what we think of it (and what it was actually about - but we're too proud and determinedly arty to admit that aloud) . But I'm a real fan of the establishment; you can pay £3.25 on a Tuesday afternoon to watch a film with a cup of tea or coffee. HOW GREAT IS THAT!?

What Orpheus looked like in the 1930s...NOICE.

Bristol Day 2 - My Favourite Bench

This is my favourite bench in the whole of Bristol. I love it for three reasons 1) It's on a really beautiful and historical street called Royal York Crescent 2) The street, probably due to the wealth of its residents, is always calm and peaceful 3) It has an incredible view of the city and the surrounding countryside. I go here a lot to be still, to read, to think and to listen to music. I sat here at the changing of the seasons when the crispness of winter was starting to melt, I came here during exams to focus my mind and get some perspective. It's a really great bench.

I would just like to say that the Strongbow can is not mine. I'm allergic, remember?

Royal YorkCrescent is supposedly the longest crescent in Europe. The houses were built over the gardens and orchards of a former 17th century mansion and although building began in 1791, the street wasn't completed until 1820 as the french kept draining our money with their incessant warfare and revolutions. One website claims that it was this street that 'transformed the quiet little village of Clifton into a fashionable spa'There is a variation of designs because more than one builder finished the job, but the crescent is inevitably expensive, majestic and sun-soaked. Perhaps it is the rays from our favourite star that have christened this place as the pride of Clifton, deeming it suitable to appear alongside the Suspension Bridge on postcards of Bristol. If you are ever in Bristol, you should definitely take a stroll along Royal York before heading to the zoo or to a cafe or perhaps one of the yummy restaurants that will forever be out of my price range (speak of which, my friend Gemma's Dad just opened a new place and it looks FIIIIINEEEE. It's called Restaurant Fifty - check it out!)

Anyway, so yesterday morning Clifton was doing something pretty gorgeous. I don't know why, but I'm always more aware of the sky in Bristol and especially so when I sit by the suspension bridge or on my favourite bench. Yesterday when I stood there at 7:30, the celestial sphere couldn't quite make up its mind whether to rain or shine. The result was a water coloured canvas of soft grey, interspersed with rosy sunshine. It was glorious. I knew then that I had to blog about this place, take lots of pictures and do some lame trawling through google search.

Listening to: This Is The Day - John Rutter

Bristol Day 1 - A New Room

Okay so this post is about 2 days late. Apologies. I've set myself the task of blogging everyday about a place in Bristol that I love or find interesting, just because it gives me the excuse to wikipedia things and take lots of photos (yay!) The first place I feel I ought to show you is my new room on Hensmans Hill in Clifton. I moved in on Monday with the help of my wonderful younger brothers who grudgingly carried my frivolous possessions (including my gorgeous trunk, which of course is completely necessary!) up 2 flights of stairs and into the Maisonette that I am sharing with 9 other girls I met in Halls last year. I hadn't actually seen my room before moving in, so it was a bit of a gamble, but I'm sure you'll all agree that the gamble paid off. I really, really love it: it has so much light, space, character and shelves! I particularly love the windows and the old chest of drawers. The shelves are, as mentioned above, an incredibly important feature for me - I have never had enough shelves before. I'm also in love with the mural of a tree on the wall opposite - it brings a little life and colour into what would have otherwise been a rather boring view.

From what I can gather, the property used to be part of a children's clothes factory and has since been converted into flats and maisonettes. It's situated just around the corner from Regent's Street in Clifton so I'm planning a lot of reading, writing, blogging mornings in all the various little cafes - I need to find my regular spot! We also need to find a local pub or bar for our house. AH! It's all so exciting and also a little bit scary because we have to sort out bills and TV licences and make sure our kitchen doesn't develop an extra filthy skin and that the bathrooms are always stocked with loo roll. But it does feel like home which makes everything worthwhile.