The 24th: Anticipation vs. Expectation

So I made an Advent Calendar this year (with a lot of help from Charlotte). A symbol of anticipation.  I love Christmas but I put so much pressure on myself to document and describe and enjoy. I'm tired of trying to hold it all in  my head, of slapping myself on the wrist for not being in the Christmas Spirit. So here's a list of things I'm thankful for.  Today is the start of another Christmas, I'm happier than I was last year,  my family are cancer free, Dad is cooking Christmas Dinner a la Nigella and we are just about to sit down to watch White Christmas and eat Raclette as is tradition every year. I finally found my stocking (after two years of pillowcases - this is a particular joy!) All my favourite musicals are on television, my room smells like a Christmas candle, tonight my brother is leading worship at the 11pm servies and tomorrow we'll have a full house and even fuller tummies. Despite all this I don't feel at all Christmassy, something that has often frustrated me in the past. The thing is, I'm not quite sure what that means anymore. Christmas is an enigma - I cannot pin it down to a particular emotion or spirit. Even though the traditions and motions might be the same, the 'christmassy' feeling inevitably changes. We expect the years to look the same and they are always different. It's a good thing. I've decided that I like it. I'm looking forward to how different the festivities will look this year, I'm anticipating a new perspective. What will be will be. Now go and have yourselves a very Happy Christmas!

Life Lately

The last two and a half weeks have been utter bliss. Thanks to everyone who has contributed to my life-lately. Here's a photo diary, according to instagram.

1. Had one last cappuccino in Piu with Franzi before heading to the airport, arrived home in Bracknell to mince pies and a proper cup of tea, the next day I had coffee with my parents at Santa Fe (best coffee in the world) to chat about life and future. 

2. Hurried to London to meet Louis and watch Uncle Vanya (which was incredible), went back to Chorleywood for a lovely weekend with his fam, which included collecting festive foliage. Had my one and only Gingerbread latte of the season.

3. Got ill on Christmas eve so mooched by the Christmas tree and watched films, in the evening we put on all the candles and John Rutter's christmas album and Dad and I fell asleep, the next day was Christmas and Louis popped in with this hand-made gift.

4. Siblings day out with my not-so-baby bro, including Covent Garden, dinner in Zizzis and SINGING IN THE RAIN.

5. Got a megabus to Bristol (front of the double decker - COME ON!) watched Breakfast at Tiffany's, marvelled at the large Christmas tree and drank a LOT of tea.

6. Got dressed up for Dinner Party New Year's Eve, spent the early hours snuggled on a sofa watching Notting Hill, a couple of days later Louis visited me in Bracknell and we just hung out in Santa Fe (did I mention they have great coffee?)

7. Got a bit run-down so decided to stay a bit longer, bro serenaded me whilst eating lunch. Got a bit down with the weather so hopped on a train to London to meet some lovely pals then caught up with my cousin overnight, then met another pal for coffee in the morning.

8. Penultimate evening spent with my parents drinking Whiskey (grim) reading Isherwood and eating cake. Started reading Acts again.

9. On my last day in Bracknell, I continued reading the Berlin novels, met a bro for coffee, hung out with my rents, then woke up early to Heathrow, Oh Comely and a flat white, then suddenly arrived back at my front door in Düsseldorf.

And now England just feels like a dream.

It's Christmas Eve

It's the final day of advent! I've really enjoyed my make-shift Advent calendar this year: it's been cosy and musical and spiritually satisfying. PERFECT. I still can't quite believe how quickly this year's Christmas season has gone, I've been trying so hard to get into the Christmas spirit and it's really only since coming home that I've felt ready for all the festivities. However, I woke up today with an awful cold, so I'm spending the whole of today wrapped up on the sofa, watching Christmas films and drinking tea. I am determined to be well enough for another Midnight Mass at Guildford Cathedral tonight, because it's one of my favourite things to do at Christmas time. I love the chance to sit and be still and reflect on the year and the season that is upon us.

To all my German friends out there, I hope you have a wonderfully blessed Heilige Abend with your family and to the rest of you, I hope you enjoy today and tomorrow!

HAPPY CHRISTMAS!

All the Trappings Without the Stuffing

Despite living and working in the heart of the Düsseldorf Christmas Markets, I am severely lacking in Christmas spirit. There are only so many overpriced wooden decorations you can look at and cups of glühwein you can drink and fried potato cakes with apple sauce you can eat and snow you can slide on and kids you can watch ice-skate and sweet, chocolatey, almond smells you can take in. Christmas is so tied to family traditions and childhood memories. I am missing the homemade cloth advent calendar and the box of christmas books and films and singing Christmas carols in the choir, I miss Christmas baking with Mum and decorating the tree to the Ratpack with my brothers and going to London just because and sitting inside with a mug of freshly made mulled wine and trying to wish the winter rain into balls of snow. 

It just goes to show that Christmas has to be more than the snow, the twinkly lights, the warm, sweet drinks and the prospect of presents. It's about good company, personal traditions and a belief in the season that goes beyond aesthetics. 

I can't help but feel homesick. GET ME BACK TO BRACKNELL

(I never in my LIFE thought I'd say that) 

Sunday Splurges (on a Wednesday)

The past week has been absolutely delightful, full of Christmas fun, theatre japes, great food, great community and exploring new corners of the city. So without further ado, here are the highlights.

Favourite Moments:

- Exploring Flingern with Franziska: second hand clothes, a gorgeous old book shop and Kaffee at Oma Erika's.

- Walking in the snow with Käthe and Rebecca, followed by an Ikea lunch - when does life get any better?

- Taking part in theatre advent: dressing up in a poncho and singing Feliz Navidad with Käthe to a group of rather bemused German children. 

- Sharing my first experience of Pommessalz (chip salt: paprika and salt) with Särah

- Spending 14 hours with the lovely Kate

- Watching my first ever Tatort with Franzi, Moritz, Julius and Tobi. 

Listening To:

Christmas Is Happening

Star of Wonder - Sufjan Stevens

Christmas Time Is Here - Diana Krall

Merry Christmas Darling - Glee Cast

Inspired By:

This Blog Post by the lovely Heather

This lady's photos

Haikus

The power of individual stories

Friendship

Currently Drinking:

Loose leaf apple and cinnamon tea

Currently Reading:

Neon Magazine

Overall Mood:

Tired, cold but pretty excited.

A Sunday Splurge (on a Monday morning)

I promise you, that this was written yesterday.

Today I feel so joyful, almost overwhelmingly so. It's like everything that I can see and touch and smell and hear is covered with sparkly fairylights. I'm feeling very alive and very happy in Germany at the moment. The past week seized me by the collar and flung me through the days without letting my feet touch the ground, but I had so much fun and I swear Christmas makes busyness even more beautiful, especially in Germany. Everyday my journey to work has been filled with crisp snow-grey air, dozens of wooden huts, flashes of red, gold and green and the sweet aroma of glühwein and roasted almonds. How can anybody be in a bad mood when the introduction to the day is so sweet and joyous?

And so, without further ado, my favourite moments of the week

. Glühwein with Katja

. Watching the theatre-youth-group production, 'Being Ullysses'

. Sitting outside Woyton, chatting with a stranger about my writing and him saying 'bleib so freundlich' (stay so friendly) as he left. I feel it was message for life.

. Weekend Festival in Köln, bopping to Chain and the Gang and Die Goldenen Zitronen

Listening To:

Shane and Shane - Glory in the highest

She & Him - Have yourself a merry little Christmas

In Die Weihnachtsbäckerei - Die Sternenkinder

Happy Holiday - Bing Crosby

Inspired By:

. My Advent bible reading plan

. On the Road - Jack Kerouac

. Jason Robert Brown - The Last 5 Years

. The community at Mosaik Church

Currently Drinking:

. Standard latte from Woyton with beautiful latte art, courtesy of Davide my barista friend.

Currently Reading:

. In Zeiten des Abnehmenden Lichts - Eugen Ruge

Overall Mood:

JOY JOY JOY JOY FREUDE FREUDE FREUDE

Das erste Schlückchen Glühwein

Seit der Anfang meines Auslandsjahrs wollte ich ein Post auf Deutsch schreiben und heute habe ich der Mut es jedenfalls zu versuchen :-) sei nett ihr Deutschen! 

Gestern Abend war ich mit der netten Katja bei Weihnachtsmacht, um mein erste Weihnachtsmarktglühwein zu trinken. Es war uns wichtig die richtigen Tassen und Preisen zu finden, weil   das erste Schlückchen etwas besonders ist! Wir haben uns überlegt ob es sich lohnen würde, drei euro für ein Stiefeltasse zu bezahlen (sie waren richtig, richtig süß) aber haben uns zufriedengegeben mit der Düsseldorflandschaftshorizontglastasse (die war auch schöne, aber in eine Glastasse wird Glühwein schnell kalt) Alles war so wunderschön, mit der Lichten und Dekorationen und einem riesigen Tannenbaum - es hat mir wirklich in die Weihnachtslaune gebracht. Ich freue mich jetzt so sehr auf die Weihnachtszeit, obwohl es immer noch nicht Dezember ist! Franziska hat mir ein Teeadventkalander geschenkt (es gibt 24 verschiedene Teebeutels - ich freue mich!) und ich habe auch ein paar Bibel Verse über die Weihnachtsgeschichte ausgesucht, also im Großen Ganzen bin ich für die Adventszeit gut vorbereitet. 

Last night I went to the Christmas markets with the lovely Katja to have my very first PROPER Glühwein (I've drunk a lot of Glühwein, just never at a REAL German Christmas market). One's first sip of delicious Glühwein is a special occasion and so finding the right mug at the right price was of the utmost importance. We deliberated forking out three euros for a cute little boot mug (seriously the cutest things EVER!) but eventually settled for a darling little glass mug with the skyline of Düsseldorf printed across the middle. However, Glühwein gets colder quicker in glass mugs - be warned! Everything was so beautiful, the lights, decorations and a massive Christmas tree - it really put me in the Christmas spirit. I'm so looking forward to Christmas, even though it's not even December yet! Franziska gave me a Christmas Tea Advent-calendar and I've found a really great Christmas bible reading plan, so all in all I'm pretty prepared for Advent.

Seid euch für die Adventszeit vorbereitet? Are you ready for Advent? 

Christmas Eve To-Do List

1. Watch some Christmassy musical cheer: Judy Garland singing Have Yourself a Merry Little

Christmas and Bing singing White Christmas. What more could you want!?

2. Arrange presents under the tree, then sit and admire all the pretty decorations.

3. Get out all my Christmas stories and put them by my bed so I can read them before going to sleep.

4. Do some last minute wrapping. I love the classic brown paper and string. It's cheap and cheerful!

5. Dress my American Girl Dolls in their Christmas dresses. Possibly my favourite Christmas presents of all time - I love these dolls!

6. Dig out my stocking and hang it on my door. Stocking homemade by my mother.

7. Have a raclette dinner with friends and family. Christmas Eve tradition. SO MUCH CHEESE.

Now I'm ready to wrap up, bundle into the car with some of closest friends and go to midnight mass at Guilford Cathedral (we did this last year, it's become a bit of a tradition now). I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas! To all my fellow bloggers, I expect lots of gorgeous Christmas Day blogs (please!)

HAPPY CHRISTMAS

A Cheeky Brunch on Gloucester Road

To celebrate the end of term a few of my house mates and I decided to mosey on down to Gloucester Road for a spot of brunch. Clifton was too expensive and we were keen to test new waters and determined to scour the array of charity shops for last minute Christmas presents. After a few tentative menu readings we settled on The Social, found at the mouthpiece of Stokes Croft.

It was a perfect, perfect choice. The interior is so rustic and cosy, with lots of lovely Christmas trees and twinkly lights. The seating is split between large, squashy sofas and straight backed wooden chairs, the tables between coffee tables, small round tables, tables for four and large trestle-like wooden beasts. There is essentially a table and a chair for everyone! We grabbed an intimate table for four along with a couple of their hardback menus and started perusing the Breakfast choices. Being a wheatard* it's often a challenge to find something with suitable ingredients let alone something that actually tastes nice! Brunch and Breakfast menus are generally off limits for me because bread seems to be the meal staple. However, The Social serve a Bubble and Squeak with Poached Egg brunch, making my order unusually simple (I usually have to be a bit creative and create my own meal out of sides or omit certain parts of the dish) My friend Ellie had poached Eggs with Hollandaise sauce and Shumi and Nicki had toasted sandwiches with mushrooms, beetroot and fries.

The coffee was good, the company delicious - overall an incredibly successful outing. I will definitely be returning sometime in the New Year!

After eating our fill we headed straight for our Charity Shop mission, starting at The Salvation Army shop. We all came out with items for £2! What a marvel, charity shops that are actually cheap! I, unfortunately, had to cut my bargain hunting task short, as I had to catch my train home, but I gather the girls continued the cheap, festive fun all the way up Gloucester Road. JEALOUS.

Where have you bought most of your Christmas Presents this year? Shops? Internet? Ebay? Handmade?

What The Season Brings: A Bit of Deutschland

As may or may not know, I lived in Germany for two years as a child, which means I experienced two very German, very wonderful Christmasses. They were idyllic, partly as a result of childhood nostalgia but also because Germans just know how to celebrate Christmas. There is the promise of snow, and AUTHENTIC Christmas markets and Lebekuchen and Kinderpunch and huge Christmas trees and gorgeous toy shops and tasteful decorations and beautiful nativity scenes and proper wooden nutcracker soldiers chocolate covered fruit etc etc. As a family it's hard to celebrate Christmas without evoking elements of our time spent in Deutschland, whether it's looking at our German Christmas decorations or making Gingerbread houses or still celebrating St. Nikolas on the 6th of December, we can't help but be reminded of those two very blessed years.

So, when I heard about the German market in Bristol town centre and that REAL Germans were operating the stalls, I felt a huge compulsion to go and indulge in some German festive cheer. On my last night of the term, we wondered down to Broadmead and I ordered us a Bratwurst with extra Sauerkraut IN GERMAN - it was SO SO yummmy. The market stalls themselves still felt a little bit tacky, but if Christmas markets outside of Germany were all really authentic and beautiful then there would be no reason for people to visit the originals, so I wasn't too fussed. It was just a lovely way to get into the Christmas spirit - we even walked passed Christmas Steps, I have ALWAYS wanted to be near Christmas Steps at Christmas time, not for any particular reason other than to say I was there...hahaha.

It was so nice to wrap up all snug in our winter woollens - but what has happened to the weather since!? This Christmas is so mild!

Christmas in Clifton

I really love Clifton and I really REALLY love Clifton at Christmas time. Everything is so quaint and classic and family friendly. The Saturday before last I was strolling back from my little jazzy jam with Hornstars when I bumped into my friends Jonni and Alex. They told me that I should run home, grab my camera and head to the Christmas Fayre on Royal York Crescent. I'm SO glad I went, even if I was all by myself.

The Crescent was filled with all things Clifton, from homemade bunting, lucky dip, a barber shop choir, a very wholesome Father Christmas Grotto (not Santa, we are in Clifton DARH-ling) and not forgetting a stall from Lahloo Pantry - a new cafe in the village. I had a lovely chat with the man on the cafe stall and he even gave me a free mince pie with my hot spiced apple drink (I didn't have the heart to tell him I was Gluten free...and I did actually have a cheeky nibble - it was really good!)

It was really rather perfect. The view from Royal York Crescent is quite spectacular and formed a stunning backdrop for this charming festivity - it just made me fall in love with Clifton EVEN more.