The Things That Come to You Whilst Standing Barefoot in a Park

I promise you that I am not exaggerating when I say that I've reached that stage of tiredness when you feel like your face could fall off at any moment. My eyes are twitching and leaking, my normally clear complexion is experiencing strange red growths and I feel like I'm yawning not just with my mouth but inside my head as well.

It's my own fault. I'm doing too much. I seem to have taken busy to a new level. Over the last three months there hasn't been one peaceful, unoccupied moment: revision, exams, partying, opera, play, open-mic night, church stuff, visits home, degree stuff, CU stuff etc. etc. It's been stressful, REALLY stressful. It's also been REALLY emotional. It's been REALLY tough. Last night and this morning, I was reflecting on this term, how quickly it's gone, how much I've done, how much I've grown. In Elizabeth Gilbert's book 'Eat, Pray, Love' she talks about having a word that describes you, just one word and this week, too, my friend Andrew has been pestering me to email this guy with two sentences describing myself for our student weekend away and I've spent the last 24 hours thinking about both of these activities.

Last night was my first night co-leading Churchhill Hall CU in Stoke Bishop. As I sat there, it suddenly hit me how ridiculously random it was for me to be sitting in this guys' room, in a Hall 40 minutes away from my own, with guys I'd only known properly for a week, leading a bible study on Phillipians and still feeling completely at home. Then this morning a group of us met in Royal Fort Gardens by the mirrors to worship God (barefoot) before lectures. As we were stood in the dewy greenness, with all the mud oozing round our feet, singing our hearts out and lifting our faces to the sun, my sense of exhaustion and my business just seemed so insignificant. Both events just hammered home how much God is in control of my life, how God is putting me in places I would never EVER have put myself in and how much I am growing as a result of it.

So this is my word: OVERWHELMED. I am overwhelmed with emotion, lack of sleep, deadlines, grammar, opera music and emails. But I am also overwhelmed by God's goodness to me. I find it overwhelming how many opportunities I have had to perform since starting university, I find it overwhelming how beautiful the city of Bristol is in all seasons, I am overwhelmed by the quantity and quality of friends I have made, I am overwhelmed by the family that is the christian community in Bristol, I am overwhelmed by my course, overwhelmed by gorgeous music, fashion, travel, letters, literature, the chance to go to Edinburgh festival, my upcoming trip to Leipzig. You name it, I'm overwhelmed by it.

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