This evening I read this quote on Amy Morby's blog who read it on The Near Sighted Owl and it made a lot of sense.
When you don't have self-esteem you will hesitate before you do anything in your life. You will hesitate to go for the job you really wanna go for, you will hesitate to ask for a raise, you will hesitate to call yourself an American, you will hesitate to report a rape, you will hesitate to defend yourself when you are discriminated against because of your race, your sexuality, your size, your gender. You will hesitate to vote, you will hesitate to dream. For us to have self-esteem is truly an act of revolution and our revolution is long overdue.”
Having low self-esteem is such an ugly, ugly businesses. It damages you and it damages the people around you. Where once your friends were sympathetic to your insecurities they now have that look in their eyes which screams 'I'm bored, can we move on from this issue now?' Or perhaps your self-esteem is so rock-bottom that you can't even pluck up the courage to speak to someone about it. Either way it's stopping you from becoming the person you're supposed to be and from having the relationships you're supposed to have.
I have also found that a lack of self-esteem can become a habit. It becomes that comfort blanket you reach for when a scary opportunity arrives at your front door and you can't find the strength or the willpower to shift that mindset. It can become an indulgence, a selfishness that contradicts the timidity and fear it produces. It's the fear of failure, humiliation and rejection that smothers us like a nasty smelling snuggie.
But I ask you, what is failure, humiliation and rejection in the Kingdom of God? Failure is a man-made concept as is self-esteem. I find that if I look at myself and my credentials for my self-worth then I end up a sniveling, pitiful mess because I'm still not thin enough, clever enough, good enough, kind enough. But I believe that God loves everyone on this earth, I believe that he created us so beautiful, so intricate and so lovely and I believe that he delights in us on a daily basis. I really love God and I'm a massive fan of his creation, so if I believe that I too am created by him then I cannot help but have confidence because I know his creation is GOOD.
I guess that what I'm trying to say is this: insecurities are a waste of time and whilst they may be hard to deal with, they are worth fighting against. Don't let a lack of self-esteem stop yourself from living life to the full!
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