As expected, the productivity of yesterday has been proceeded by the complete unproductively of today. I'm beginning to think that continuous productivity is just a myth. Today the act of existing was enough to make me reach for the coffee, the effervescent vitamin and a large bottle of fruit juice, none of which produced the desired results. I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed at the minute and, as a result of the sugary vitamins and heart-racing caffeine, I'm not sure whether to burst out the door and embrace every stranger I see or huddle in the corner and cry for a century. There is so much paperwork, so many emails, so much packing, so much thinking, so much preparation, so many people to say goodbye to and I feel very, very alone in the process. Every day this week I have sat down and forced myself to work on this essay, telling myself to get over the fact that it sometimes takes five minutes to construct a sentence and that I have no idea what I'm doing, or whether I'm doing it right, but after a paragraph or so I just give up. I'm not a natural quitter, but under the circumstances (i.e trying to move myself and my crap successfully 12 hours south) I just don't quite see the point in academic prowess. So as you can see, I spent most of today playing with Hipstamatic and taking pretty photos of the things I did today, even if they were unsuccessful. 

 1) It started off so well, me, my coffee and my newspaper. I love the Süddeutsche Zeitung Magazin, the articles are so interesting and it's as close to a Saturday Guardian as I'm going to get. The sun was shining through my window, like a crisp, cold desk lamp peeking over fluffy cotton clouds and despite feeling tired, I felt ready to face the day. So I spent an hour belting out musical theatre show tunes and prancing around my room to Glee. Unproductive, but joyful.
2) I decided to finally sit down and tackle the essay. I did get somewhere, just nowhere anywhere near close to where I should be. I'm really interested in the topic, it's just that I'm so used to being able to bash out eloquence, then sharpen it up with a bit of structure. In German, I have to do everything backwards, I have to plan every sentence in excruciating detail just to make sure I'm still talking about the same thing. It's exhausting. I drank too much coffee.
3) I suddenly had a wild panic about packing up and cleaning this room with no parents/boyfriend/friend and no hoover. Panic lasted for about 10 minutes before I ran out in the snow, went to Netto and bought groceries. Food shopping makes everything better. It's so orderly and proper and the vegetables here are so cheap, it makes me happy.
4) I found this cheeky photo hiding in my notebook. The night is still young and if I get crazy enough I might go see if this girl wants to go out and play. Or at the very least eat, watch a film and set the world straight.

How was your Saturday?

1 comment :

  1. Great snapshots!

    xo Jennifer