Secure People

During a workshop last week I observed a rather troubled group of teenagers. No they weren't poor or 'troubled' in the way society would dictate, in fact, on paper, they'd look pretty set to conquer the world. They came from one of the most elite schools in the city and although they were in the 11. Klasse (year 12) they were possibly the mot immature group of teenagers I have ever worked with.

They were all scared: scared of each other, scared of taking risks, being creative and being honest. Most of them couldn't look each other in the eye, everything was funny, even when it wasn't, they were openly rude, openly crude and put absolutely no enthusiasm into the things that they did (disclaimer: a handful, and I mean a handful were great, still scared, but essentially interested). I just ask myself what the German school system is doing when a school that will supposedly provide the country with its future managers, politicians and teachers, produces such a socially inept and creatively shallow bunch of individuals? Why, one year before they finish their compulsory schooling are they all still so scared of each other? It made me so, so sad. 

It just goes to show that being insecure is a universal predicament, whether rich or poor, educated or uneducated, everyone is trying to find out who they are and what they stand for. It's this academic, parental and social pressure that has such a deep impact on the security of young people. I so wanted to pull a load of them aside and just tell them that if they stopped wasting their energy on what people thought of them, how they look and are presented on their social media feeds, then they might actually give themselves the space to become an interesting person. It was like their personalities were being stifled with social fear. 

Like I said, this is a universal thing. I see it in varying degrees in all areas of my life, even in church I see so many teenagers consumed by what their friends and their leaders think of them rather that what God thinks of them. I see at University too, sometimes I even see it in myself.

But why are we so scared of each other? Why do we long so much for other people's approval? Why do we change ourselves to fit different social communities? Why can't we throw off the jargon of the environment and just speak in the language of our hearts? Why do we laugh a others when inside we are dying from the weight of insecurity? Why do we hold ourselves around the waist, to protect ourselves from the flash of a camera or the touch of a friend?

The thing is, I really love being around secure people. Secure people aren't necessarily the loud, confident people who get up and speak. Secure people are vulnerable people. They're the ones who, when you ask them how it's going, they don't just tell you what they did, but how they are. They don't hide their brokeness, they don't hide their overwhelming joy, they don't hide how much they love. They are strong, insightful, wise and kind. Every moment I get to spend with a secure person fills my soul with joy and I walk away having sprouted wings and a fresh perspective. 

I strive everyday to be a secure person, because I just don't know why I wouldn't. I just don't see any point in being insecure anymore. Do you?


  1. Wow ellie, that is incredibly powerful truth

  2. wow, this is an really good and true article, thank you! :)
    i love your blog, your style, your thoughts you share with us, your personality which shines through your words and pictures, your authenticity. you are a very inspirational person and you're like a role model (if this is the right word for it' in english ;) ) for me :)
    greetings :) ♥