A Poem

I looked for something more honest and real.

I searched and found lust unsatisfactory and success insufficient.

I ignored God and ran through the streets as I so desired, playing upon the merry stage of life like an empty fool, trying to feel.

I gathered friends in my hands like chocolate pralines to be gorged upon: nothing substantial to see me through.

I drank intellect like my tea, with a dash of milk, but no sugar: knowledge awakened my mind, but it did not sweeten my soul.

I encoutered congregations of faith whose outstretched arms screamed love, yet they were rotting skeletons from within: sweet, sickly souls lacking strenght, security and truth.

I stared at the trees and wondered at the seasons. I feared time and its speed; I leant longingly into the future with a sickness of worry and pessimism. 

I travelled the world to find a new perspective and learnt new tongues so I could think a new: communication for communication’s sake left one cold and without a cause.

I stopped ignoring Him and began to see the life and hope in beings and trees. 

When I cried my tears were not just salt and water. 

When I laughed a symphony fell out of my mouth and when I drank from the cup of knowledge I felt engaged and alive.

Every encounter with another being simultaneously prempted and spontaneous: the perfect tension of free will and pre-destination.

I could not step onto new turf without the promise of possibility. 

I couldn’t smell the air without knowing it would take my weight if I wanted to fly.

I ran like a lark ascending with wings growing stronger and wider with every breath.

I sang like the morning light: sweet, clear and new.

I danced like the rain on the pavement and loved in a purity bold and blue.

Real and honest it engulfed me this higher being with a cause. 

It lay not in the words of a preacher or the melody of a hym, but in the connection of spirit and soul.

by Ellie Jackson

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