I've broken my foot (the cuboid bone to be exact). I'm going back to hospital this morning to get Charis (the cast) off and replaced (hopefully) by something less cumbersome (no offence Charis!)
Frustration interspersed with pockets of peace is the predominant emotion. I'm frustrated that I can't just jump in the shower, I want to go for a walk in the leaves, I want to ride my BRAND NEW bicycle and I want to be able to make myself a cup of tea without sloshing it everywhere. Yet every so often I yield to bed-rests's benefits and realise that I can still do a lot despite my temporary disability. I'm learning so much about patience, the value of friendship and the indispensable comfort that comes form time sitting in God's presence.
Last night at Churchill we readMary and Martha, discussing how necessary it is to be a Mary in what is essentially a Martha world. Don't get me wrong, I desperately want to get to my lectures, they don't call me Rory Gilmore for nothing, but without the pressure or rigid routine accompanied by my crippling frustration at my lack of independence, I'm having to rely so much on His strength rather than mine. Daily, hourly, even minutely (is that even a word!) I have to hand over my fears and anxieties to Lord, else I would spend my days horizontal (with my leg elevated, of course!) in bed staring at the ceiling and wallowing in self-pity.
Still, there is some fun to be had with Charis and Crutches. People have done a wonderful job of making her look pretty and we had some excellent lightsaber fights with the crutches last night. I'm determined to find the joy and hilarity in the situation - because it is pretty funny. I fell of my bike because my eyes were leaking. Classy, ey?
My Mother gave me some excellent advice: don't focus on what you can't do, focus on what you CAN do and get on with it. Wise words from an amputee! So please challenge me to have this attitude and MAKE ME DO SOME WORK.
yours sincerely
Ellie
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