A very profound cowardly lion

This doodle was given to me by a girl I met at the 'Over the Rainbow' auditions in February. We had been waiting for over two hours and had got chatting about anything and everything in order to divert ourselves from nervous boredom. Naturally we were both hoping to pursue careers in the theatre industry but whilst I was planning to bide my time studying languages she was training to become an illustrator. As I sat there brushing up on my verbs she was bent over her sketchbook drawing characters from the Wizard of Oz and when each of us went off to audition she would rip out a character and give it to us before wishing us good luck. She left the waiting room before me but as she did, she tore off the last remaining character, the cowardly lion, handed it to me and wished me well in life.

I've kept this picture in my journal ever since and I always seem to turn to it when I'm feeling anything but courageous. Today I got more white tac and needed something else to fill up my 'Wall of Wonderfulness' so I decided to fish the picture out of my journal and stick it on my wall to remind myself to be brave and to stand strong on the promises that have been made to me. I confess that this seemingly insignificant pencil drawing is the one thing that has held me together this afternoon. Going about my everyday existence is harder than expected, my town and my church are ringing with the echoes of early summer laughter and joy filling my heart with an indescribable pain. There have been so many moments over the past week when I have longed for the sound of her voice or the happiness of her smile knowing full well that the only way I will experience these things is in my head or through photos. I have resulted to asking God to give her a hug from me because I'm sure hugs are a massive part of heaven and it helps me feel connected to her even if it's just for a second. It still hurts, but I'm moving forward, I don't feel brave or particularly confident, but like the cowardly lion I know that there is a courage deep inside, the sort that everyone has in order that they might live and love, and there are certain things, like this cute, little drawing given to me by someone who knew me for all of 2 hours and probably has no idea about my current circumstances, that help to unlock it and remind us to take hold of this fearlessness and to go on with life a little bolder and little more determined.