Starting the third Moleskine...

3rd Moleskine

 makes me feel and recognise the distance between now and the start of this year abroad. I'm exactly halfway through now, which feels both exciting and terrifying. There are still so many challenges to come, challenges I can face, challenges I can overcome but they are still what they still challenges all the same. They require energy, concentration, intellectual agility, an open heart, a willingness to participate and the humility to acknowledge mistakes. In short, they require a lot of effort and right now I'm feeling a bit tired. The allure of the wandering gypsy lifestyle is wearing a little thin and I'm looking forward to investing in a community and getting settled in my new room in Parma. Alas I'm still on the run and the day after I move into my new apartment I will be starting my internship at yet another theatre, with another crazy schedule and another bunch of artistic lunatics.

I know it's going to be awesome. I know I'm lucky but it's 7am at Heathrow airport
and I've had a grand total of 4.5 hours sleep. Just get me coffee, get me a plane and get me to Italy.

I'm actually really excited about being in Italy and enjoying this new adventure. Any apprehensions or homesickness are purely a consequence of fatigue. I'm also finally ready to Italian  I know that sounds silly, but for so long this chipper, bouncing lingo has been the bastard child of my degree: an afterthought, another thing to do. However something has snapped and sparked in my heart and I am finally ready to embrace its foreignness and make it familiar. I'm ready for the words to roll off of my tongue like bubbles and to relish the abundance of round vowel shapes on a black and white page. I'm ready to take this seriously and I'm ready to stamp on any fear, any insecurity and lack of belief that stops me from taken command of these words and structures.

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