Homecoming part 3

For some reason I find it necessary, after cleaning my teeth, to put my toothbrush in a wash bag and stick it under the sink. This may not seem weird to you, but every time I go to clean my teeth again I forget where I've put it and have a major hissy fit, blaming anyone and everything for having stolen my toothbrush. It's pathetic.

Also, my Dad returned home with two Mars bars for my brothers. He gave one to Ben and then, on not being able to find the other one, turned the kitchen upside down, increasing stress levels everywhere, only to find that he had put it in the cutlery drawer. He then subsequently tried to put the full milk in the recycling and the empty one in the fridge.

My Mother has also gone blonde. For those of you who know my family well, the whole concept of a blonde, straight haired Janine Jackson is frankly absurd.

My family is, in a word, a little dysfunctional at the moment. We stress each other out one moment and then make each other laugh the next. It's hardly surprising under the circumstances but it's still incredibly frustrating. It makes home less relaxing and distorts all that cosy childhood nostalgia you expect to be confronted with when you walk through the back door. Yet despite it all, I have never been so desperate to be in Bracknell. It's good for my soul to be surrounded by the origins of my deepest fears and insecurities but also to uncover the springboards of my greatest dreams.

Once again Laura has saved my life. When to two of us drive around and sit in fancy places drinking tea, Bracknell becomes recognisable again. Yesterday as she grabbed my hands and prayed through my tears I realised once again how important it is to have friends like Laura. Today was just gorgeous, sitting in the grounds of South Hill Park, trying to ignore the diggers destroying the regency aura of the place, eating her homemade roasted vegetable soup, reading glamour and the prayer of Jabez simultaneously (we're very balanced) and just gushing about God's blessings in our lives. Today has really brought me home, centered me and focused me. I feel like I can finally move forward and begin to attempt the musical, academic and emotional challenges I'm going to encounter on my return to Bristol.

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