This Time Last Week

I was sat, a trembling wreck of breathlessness, fear, nerves and second guessing, on a bench in Terminal 5, clutching my go-to flight goodies (New Yorker, Sushi, Eat Natural bar. Cannot beat it) Berlin seemed like another world away. Everything within me wanted to bolt back to my cosy little bedroom haven in Bracknell, drink more tea and read more books. Alas, it was time to move forward, it was time to be brave, push through the fear, get on a plane and start my new life in the German capital.

And I did it.

It's now a week later and I'm currently sitting in an independent cafe, filled with old vinyls, books and furniture, drinking an iced latte and delighting in the high-speed internet. I have just met a girl from America who writes for a living and we are surrounded by arty types enjoying a Sunday brunch in the Neukölln quarter of Berlin. I feel happier than I have done in months. There is a peace in my heart, a sense of being at home, safe, secure, needed and purposeful. I'm still sleeping on the sofa of a new acquaintance, but my homelessness doesn't feel like a burden, more like an adventure. My job is relaxed, fun and easy and I'm starting to develop a fierce attachment to the city and its people. 

It just goes to show that you don't have to be fearless to take hold of an adventure. Instead, you have to be brave. Bravery is not the absence of fear but rather the decision to continue on in spite of it. It was absolutely the right decision to change my degree, recover at home for a month and then push myself into another year-abroad challenge. One thing this year is teaching me, is where my limits are and I want point I need to be kind to myself and take a break. I want to thank every single person who pushed me out of my comfort zone and told me to start running, who fed me cake, who gave me tea, who took me out for brunch, sent messages, let me sleep on their sofa and did everything they could to make this experience a success. Here's to a summer in BERLIN! YAY.