"The Man that got away..."

Unfortunately there is no man; it's a song. A very good song, a Judy Garland song - I like Judy, just not in Wizard of Oz. Anyway, the song is good and you should ALL check it out at some point.

So far half-term has been incredibly busy, admittedly my own fault but still very annoying; I would really quite like some "me" time but it doesn't look as if that's going to happen. You see, I have a complusive need to say "yes" to people and things and hate letting them down - I know, I know I should stop being such a "people pleaser" and I really have tried, but nothing seems to work. However, it's because of this that I double/triple book myself and end up having to let someone down anyway - hmmm I really am sillier than I thought. This is why I am SO busy this week. It is RIDICULOUS and I am very, very stressed.

"I really need to bake, I really need to bake, I really need to bake, I really need to bake!"

I really wish I was one of those super-organised, super-domestic, super-tidy, super-clever people. *sigh* I hate being a messy person :-(

Back to the title of this blog. "The Man that got away": Music by Harold Arlen and Lyrics by Ira Gershwin. I was thinking of singing this for my audition on Saturday because it's been in my head all day and it's such a satisfying song to sing - lots of lovely long notes and not too high. However, saying that it's not a very comfortable song to sing because it's quite low and the melody can sound monotonous if you don't alter the sound of your voice at certain points. So I decided against singing this song for the audition. I'm nervous about the audition, I feel very underprepared and now that I've got this far I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to get in (sorry, just realised I haven't mentioned what I'm auditioning for. I have a call-back audition for the National Youth Music Theatre, it is VERY exciting!)

I've spent the past two days with three very special people and it has been A LOT of fun. :-) but wierd, cos I really don't miss them.

I was thinking about "beauty" today whilst I was taking my make-up off. Beauty bothers me, maybe because it's something that I really want to aquire and maybe because I'm not always sure what Beauty is. So, without further a do I looked up a definition:

1. The quality that gives pleasure to the mind or senses and is associated with such properties as harmony of form or color, excellence of artistry, truthfulness, and originality.
2. One that is beautiful, especially a beautiful woman.
3. A quality or feature that is most effective, gratifying, or telling"

I then found another one:

"1. Combination of qualities, as shape, proportion, colour, in human face or form, or in other objects that delights the sight; combined qualities delighting the other senses, the moral sense, or the intellect."

I think beauty can be a physical quality and an emotional quality. Ideally I would like both, but I think it's hard to be physically beautiful and have a beautiful personality as well. Hmmmm, I have a "Love/Hate" relationship with my face but as I've got older I'm learning to just accept that it's never going to change and that I might as well try my best to like it for most of the time. Anyway, I think the word "beautiful" is used too casually these days - now, when people say "you're beautiful" you can never quite tell whether they REALLY mean it or whether they're just trying to please you. Obviously it's nice to be complimented, but when it's mainly your parents telling you this...you kinda think "Well you did make me..."

This is turning into a rubbish ramble so to summarise my current mood:

1) I like that song
2) I wish I was less busy
3) I want to love my body more
4) I have drunk too much tea today
5) I need to get tidy