My Beautiful Brave Mummy

So I went home last weekend. I claim to have many valid reasons for having hopped on a train to Bracknell at 8am on a Sunday morning, including exam stress, lack of food and a constipated washing basket. However, if I'm honest, the real motive for my trip was to see my Mum. To hug her, to spend time with her and have a conversation with her that didn't involve dodgy network crackles. And it was everything I could have wished for.

My first stop was church where I heard her speak on finding treasures in the darkness. It was such a privilege to hear her share her thoughts and her heart - I realised how lucky I am to have such a wise and godly influence in my life. I encourage everyone to give it a listen on the podcast at because she was FANTASTIC.

At home, I was greeted with gluten-free brownies and and tea and saturday newspapers - yay! It was so good to see her looking so well in spite of everything that is going on and to hang out with the rest of the Jackson clan.

Monday, we decided, was going to be Mother-Daughter day. But first things first: the nurse came in the morning to dish out the drugs and then our friend Elaine came over to cut her hair. She had been malting all over the house for the last couple of days and had come to the conclusion that it would be better just to shave it all off. I know I'm bias, but my Mum seems to carry the shaven head look with such dignity, there wasn't one tear and even though she said 'I feel more like a cancer patient now' she just radiated strength and beauty. In the afternoon we sat down, with brownies and tea and watched Meryl Streep in Sophie's Choice. Sounds like a rather morbid choice, but it's something we had planned to do for a while, being the crazy Streep fans that we are. We are kindred spirits when it comes to watching films, we always want to comment on excellent performances and creative direction and we'll always cry and laugh in all the right places.

That evening we stopped off at my favourite place in Bracknell, South Hill Park, for vanilla lattes whilst waiting for Sam to finish his singing lesson. She looked so elegant in her large black hat, sipping her coffee that I couldn't help but take a few photos. No one would have expected her to be a cancer patient! Back at home, she made gluten-free flapjack and then tried on her two wigs so that I could give my opinion. We styled one of them slightly differently so she no longer had a random bouffant! It was so comforting just to sit on her bed with my head resting on the bed sheets and chat to her about everything that's been going on. She is my rock, the person I go to when I need advice, who I cry to and who I hug when life's circumstances overwhelm me. She has taught me so much through her words but also through her actions - her strength, her enthusiasm and her stubbornness inspire me and I know I live my life more effectively as a result of her experiences.

It was so hard to leave them on Tuesday morning, for I want nothing more than to be there for both my parents in their time of need, yet I know that my place is in Bristol, that my job in this time is to pursue my future and create a new life for myself; but within that I can still remember what I have at home and through prayer and the occasional visit I can play my part in this chapter of my family's history.

1 comment :

  1. Ellie,
    I did not reason that your mum was so unwell again. I had picked up a few comments from dipping in and out of you blog (which I think it beautifully written and I enjoy every entry I read) but I don't think I had realised that things are as serious as they are for her at the moment.
    Please send her my love and I send my love to you all. I think your mum is fantasic anyway but reading this blog just makes me think she's even more fantastic than I thought! It is lovely to see what a great relationship you have with her. A real inspiration to mothers and daughters, in fact I am going to ring my mum now, just to talk!
    Take care
    Lou (Collins) xxx