I love reading my bible. This morning I woke up desperate to spend sometime with God, I've recently had such a longing to be close to him all the time. It's awesome. At the moment I'm reading a lot of Isaiah, now I never thought that this particular book would be relevant to me and my life in anyway at all, but pretty much everything I've read has challenged, soothed and inspired me. When I read these verses I'm reminded of God's bigness. He's huge! I love, love, love it. I'm believing more and more that a successful uni experience relies on me continuing to cultivate my relationship with God - it will give me peace, understanding, wisdom and calm any fear or anxiety about my future.
It's so cool to think that God has a plan for my life. I'm constantly bombarding him with questions, demanding details but he always brings me back to this verse in Joshua ' I will give you every place where to set your foot' and numerous others on patience. I am short-sighted when it comes to tomorrow, I can only see what has already been revealed, so instead I find contentment in providing God with a wish-list for my future. If there's something I desperately want to do then I just slide onto the list and offer it to God hoping that he might open doors for me. It's so much easier to tell God about my dreams. I once shared with someone how I want my future to plan out and they said 'I'm all for ambition Ellie but don't you think you're being unrealitic?' This actually broke my heart. There is too much about this life that I love, so many things I'm passionate about and so many creative projects I want to pursue, so why should I, a girl bout to step on to a GIANT springboard, confine myself to one dream when I can dream two or five! Again Isaiah answered my question this morning:
Enlarge the place of your text,
Stretch your tent curtains wide,
do not hold back,
lengthen your chords,
strengthen your stakes.
For you will spread out to the right and to the left;
your descendants will dispossess nations and settle in their desolate cities.
Isaiah 54:2-3
We happily throw about the phrase 'Our God is the God of the impossible' but if we don't actually believe in it and have the faith to see the impossible become possible then why the hell are we saying it? I believe God can do anything and I believe that with God I can be all that I need to be. I can be the journalist, opera singer, traveller, who's worked for the UN, studied theology, art history and liberal arts, worked in Starbucks, recorded a Jazz Album, started a family, drama teacher, Brecht expert, bible whizz, Gilmore Girl, political fashion blogger who's won an oscar and set up a chain of coffee/book shops. Hahaha yes I'm insane and at the end of the day I'm happy to coast on the wave that God sends me and if I have to omit some of these dreams then so be it, but I believe that every single one of my desperate dreams are, with an incredible amount of hard work, within my grasp. Perhaps not all at once and certainly not without discipline in my faith and my character. But that's the whole fun of it, to push myself, increase my capacity and see where this life will take me!
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