This evening I went to see the Garth Hill College show, "Back to the 80s". It was awesome, like actually incredible. I swear the shows get better and better every year! What was more exciting was the amount of crazily talented new faces - AH! So exciting :-D it as like watching the next generation of Garth Hill Musical Theatre, Drama freaks, wait that's what they are.
Anyway, it was good for me to see it as it put a lot of things into perspective. For one thing, it was lovely to walk into a school where teachers are so happy to see you. I had forgotten what it's like to have teachers who have faith in you, who actually believe you can go somewhere, who encourage you to go for it - I miss that. I miss feeling confident. As they were singing the finale, something in the way they were singing reminded me of something I used to feel when I was doing a show on Wick Hill Stage; that this was only the beginning, that you were really going to make a difference, that one day these people standing on the stage with you would go on to do something amazing. I can't tell you how special it was to be a part of shows at Garth, it was by far the highlight of my year and even now when I'm doing so many other shows...I tell you I would give anything to do one more show on that stage with old drama crew. Seriously, it was magic. It was one moment on that stage in "Fame" that I realised I wanted to be an actress, it was the last note of my song and I just remember thinking: I want to do this forever, this is incredible. I guess I've never looked back, but now I am and it's hard to think that I'll never be with those people in that place again. :-(
I guess what I'm trying to say, is that I've kind of lost myself over the past couple of weeks. I used to be someone who always focused on the positive, who was passionate about making a difference, who lived to perform and to enjoy every minute of every day. Now, I spend all day feeling in 3 words: "shit and stupid" and I hate it. All I seem to care about is school work and grades, which is SO unlike me, I never use to care about those things so much. I spend all my time doing work, or thinking about doing work and I'm actually fed-up of it - I actually give up with school, I can't be bothered to go to Uni - too much stress and too much money. I don't meean that, I DO want to go to uni but I want to be myself as well. I love theatre, I love people and I love having a purpose. I used to have a purpose, I was head of school council and I was going to make changes and make everyone's lives better. When I HAD confidence, I was a better person. So somehow, I'm not sure HOW, I need to get it back.
The Reader, Smoothies and Puréed Bangers and Mash
The good news is, I feel human again, the bad news is my throat is still KILLING ME. I went to the doctors this morning - the first thing he asked me, THE FIRST THING was: "ooooo so how's the revision going, my son is up to here with his" what revision?! revision? I'm not here to talk about revision, I feel like I'm dying and you ask me about revision!!??? - anyway, he wasn't particularly sympathetic until he examined my throat. Then he went "oh dear" - ominous... he thinks it's tonsillitus but it could also be this "new" sore throat so he took a swab of my saliva (which hurt a LOT!) and told me to stay off school till Thursday. This is not good, I''ve only JUST caught up on all the work I missed from being in France, now I'm going to be even FURTHER behind!!! I'm very sad and annoyed about this.
I still can't eat solid food. I had a smoothie, which was pretty darn good (!) but other than that I've been pretty hungry all day - Mum bought me some Lucozade which has been nice, but the fizz irritates my throat :-( The plus point to all this madness is that it's given me time to read. I finished "A Room with a View" and wrote a very long review of it in my reading log - this made me feel very good. I also read "The Reader" (yes, the one that's now a film). It's a very good book, the first part is a BIT dodgy - a 33 year old woman having an affair witha 15 year old...tch. But the later parts are really, really good and also rather sad.
I have one little issue with the "reading club" section at the back. Basically the book is about this boy who reads (out loud) to this older woman (before they have sex, but that's not really the point) - I just realised, that if you don't know the context of "The Reader" you might be questioning my choice of book, it is essentially about the Holocaust...oh just READ IT - anyway the question for the book club is: "Who do you think "the reader" of the title is, can it be applied to more than one character?" Now, if the book was English I would have no problem with this question, because the reader could be any one of the two main characters (the woman is illiterate and learns to read by the end of the novel) however, the book is translated from German and in German the title is "Der Vorleser". The verb "vorlesen" means to read out loud, "lesen" is the verb "to read" which means in its original form that question can only apply to the boy, because he is the only one who read outloud. I'm not sure why I'm so annoyed about this, I think it's more the fact that so few people realise that it's actually a German book and fail to recognise that some things do get seriously lost in translation. Maybe I just wanted to show off my knowledge of German verbs (which admittedly isn't very great *sigh*)
To top the whole day off, my mother had to stick my dinner in the blender because I couldn't swallow it. It was sausages, sweet potato and veggies - I attempted the sausage, but it was really hard to eat so my mother was like: " RIGHT, I'm blending it!" (not what I wanted to hear) and after it was blended into this wondefull orange-green pulpy mush it was slodged onto my plate - my brother said " that looks like sick". Thanks a lot.
I still can't eat solid food. I had a smoothie, which was pretty darn good (!) but other than that I've been pretty hungry all day - Mum bought me some Lucozade which has been nice, but the fizz irritates my throat :-( The plus point to all this madness is that it's given me time to read. I finished "A Room with a View" and wrote a very long review of it in my reading log - this made me feel very good. I also read "The Reader" (yes, the one that's now a film). It's a very good book, the first part is a BIT dodgy - a 33 year old woman having an affair witha 15 year old...tch. But the later parts are really, really good and also rather sad.
I have one little issue with the "reading club" section at the back. Basically the book is about this boy who reads (out loud) to this older woman (before they have sex, but that's not really the point) - I just realised, that if you don't know the context of "The Reader" you might be questioning my choice of book, it is essentially about the Holocaust...oh just READ IT - anyway the question for the book club is: "Who do you think "the reader" of the title is, can it be applied to more than one character?" Now, if the book was English I would have no problem with this question, because the reader could be any one of the two main characters (the woman is illiterate and learns to read by the end of the novel) however, the book is translated from German and in German the title is "Der Vorleser". The verb "vorlesen" means to read out loud, "lesen" is the verb "to read" which means in its original form that question can only apply to the boy, because he is the only one who read outloud. I'm not sure why I'm so annoyed about this, I think it's more the fact that so few people realise that it's actually a German book and fail to recognise that some things do get seriously lost in translation. Maybe I just wanted to show off my knowledge of German verbs (which admittedly isn't very great *sigh*)
To top the whole day off, my mother had to stick my dinner in the blender because I couldn't swallow it. It was sausages, sweet potato and veggies - I attempted the sausage, but it was really hard to eat so my mother was like: " RIGHT, I'm blending it!" (not what I wanted to hear) and after it was blended into this wondefull orange-green pulpy mush it was slodged onto my plate - my brother said " that looks like sick". Thanks a lot.
Brief Enounter and a Hot Toddy recipe
I hate being ill, it's so boring! Sleep is such a waste of time, think of all the things I could have done this afternoon - I slept for 5 hours, I could have baked muffins, written an essay, watched Brief Encounter - but no, I had to sleep. Doesn't help that I'm feeling really, really rough - my throat feels like it's about to explode and I have an agro builder putting up shelves inside my head. OUCH! Bless my brother, who this morning thought it was a real smart idea to play the drums (my room is practically next door) I did scream at him, but I feel bad now - he didn't know I was ill!
Anyways, the fact it's my throat worries me cos it doesn't feel like your typical sore throat it's more of a deep heat thing as opposed to a "hot lemon" thing. Which is scary, because I have two language oral mocks at the end of this month, grade 5 piano exam and oh yeah (!) a show to do. URRRGGGGGG. All require a healthy throat. *sigh*
However, my singing lesson yesterday was AWESOME. I sang and aria from "The Marriage of Figaro", I've never sung opera before but it's introduced me to a total different way of singing. I love the way the high notes don't have to pushed, you just have to "yawn" into them :D YESSSS. So good, so good. And so de-stressing because most operas involve a lot of screaming and dying and all that jazz so you can just be as overdramatic as you want. :D
Tonight I am going to watch Brief Encounter, it's been on my movie list for about 2 years now - it's getting ridiculous. I'm also going to make myself a "Hot Toddy" because the lemon shizzle is just NOT working. Oh :-( I wish I was better, I made myself sleep all afternoon surely that deserves instant recovery. But I know Mum won't let me go to rehearsals tomorrow, which is rubbish cos I love rehearsals and it's getting all exciting and near the show now. Nevermind. Hot Toddy and BE it is.
Anyways, the fact it's my throat worries me cos it doesn't feel like your typical sore throat it's more of a deep heat thing as opposed to a "hot lemon" thing. Which is scary, because I have two language oral mocks at the end of this month, grade 5 piano exam and oh yeah (!) a show to do. URRRGGGGGG. All require a healthy throat. *sigh*
However, my singing lesson yesterday was AWESOME. I sang and aria from "The Marriage of Figaro", I've never sung opera before but it's introduced me to a total different way of singing. I love the way the high notes don't have to pushed, you just have to "yawn" into them :D YESSSS. So good, so good. And so de-stressing because most operas involve a lot of screaming and dying and all that jazz so you can just be as overdramatic as you want. :D
Tonight I am going to watch Brief Encounter, it's been on my movie list for about 2 years now - it's getting ridiculous. I'm also going to make myself a "Hot Toddy" because the lemon shizzle is just NOT working. Oh :-( I wish I was better, I made myself sleep all afternoon surely that deserves instant recovery. But I know Mum won't let me go to rehearsals tomorrow, which is rubbish cos I love rehearsals and it's getting all exciting and near the show now. Nevermind. Hot Toddy and BE it is.
More tea less Skins
I have been drinking more tea since the start of Lent, this could be for two reasons: reason 1, I am very tired and drinking tea helps me to at least "think" about doing the copious amounts of work I have to do, reason 2, I have given up chocolate and biscuits so tea is the only way to cope with bad days, hormones and general stress. As a result of this increase in my caffeine intake I am constantly anxious and find it hard to sleep. I will never learn.
I finished Alice in Wonderland; seriously EVERYONE read it :-) but prepare yourself for strange dreams. I am now attempting to read "The Trial" but it requires a lot of brain energy and by the time I actually get a chance to read ANYTHING I am very, very sleepy - so progress is slow. I am thinking of reading something really light, wait I rephrase I NEED to read something light just to enjoy reading for pleasure again. I think my ridiculous reading list for English has bogged me down - sad times, cos I do REALLY want to read most of the books on there.
Anyhooodle, life is in a word "crazy" at the moment. I feel like I'm running on a treadmill in high heels, holding three very heavy shopping bags whilst trying to read a book - oh and someone keeps pressing the button to make it go faster. AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH. Hopefully, things will start to quieten down at somepoint, but for the moment I would really like a day off, a day to be a total slob - A PROPER TEENAGER! Although, I did very much enjoy my day out in Oxford on Saturday. I went with a few friends from school, Fiona forced me to go and I'm SO glad she did. We went to a German Open Day and it was so much fun :-) the course looks very interesting and I got to spend most of my day talking about German Theatre and Film which I absolutely LOVE. I even got a chance to act out an extract of a German play - it was insane! Then, because me and Fiona are "loose" (her words not mine) we decided to skip Blackwells and go coffee/cookie shop hunting :-) it was lots of fun. I love Fiona, I think you should all meet her because I've never EVER met anyone like her. She's half German, half scottish, in love with languages, in LOVE with Harry Potter (she LOVES that her surname in Potter!) and wants to learn old languages in order to teach herself Elvish (she also likes LOTR). She's also one of those people who isn't afraid to shout if she doesn't understand something (which at Kendrick is RARE indeed). So yeah, we love Fiona :-)
Onto "Skins". I'm not sure how I feel about this program but from the few times I have watched it, it seems to have the potential of being scarily addictive. It's one of those programs that will guarantee my parents walking into the room whilst somebody is having sex (which in skins is always VERY graphic!) I guess what bugs me the most is that it almost claims to be a realistic portrayal of teenage life, which is absurd. For one thing, where do the characters get all their money for drugs when they don't work? Secondly, how can they have such a busy/hetic social life and still do well in their A Levels - I swear I've never seen one of them even pick up a textbook. One of my friends suggested that we have a "Skins Rave" which means watching the entire first series, whilst getting "pissed" (for me drinking tea - I'm such a granny!) and then writing an essay on how it's all LIES. That is geeky Kendrick socials for you. But it's true, it's all lies (oooooooooooooooo see what I did there?) However, if I'm honest, the only reason I'm not a regular viewer is cos I'm not usually awake that late on a Thursday night. *sigh*
Right time for homework
ciao x
I finished Alice in Wonderland; seriously EVERYONE read it :-) but prepare yourself for strange dreams. I am now attempting to read "The Trial" but it requires a lot of brain energy and by the time I actually get a chance to read ANYTHING I am very, very sleepy - so progress is slow. I am thinking of reading something really light, wait I rephrase I NEED to read something light just to enjoy reading for pleasure again. I think my ridiculous reading list for English has bogged me down - sad times, cos I do REALLY want to read most of the books on there.
Anyhooodle, life is in a word "crazy" at the moment. I feel like I'm running on a treadmill in high heels, holding three very heavy shopping bags whilst trying to read a book - oh and someone keeps pressing the button to make it go faster. AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH. Hopefully, things will start to quieten down at somepoint, but for the moment I would really like a day off, a day to be a total slob - A PROPER TEENAGER! Although, I did very much enjoy my day out in Oxford on Saturday. I went with a few friends from school, Fiona forced me to go and I'm SO glad she did. We went to a German Open Day and it was so much fun :-) the course looks very interesting and I got to spend most of my day talking about German Theatre and Film which I absolutely LOVE. I even got a chance to act out an extract of a German play - it was insane! Then, because me and Fiona are "loose" (her words not mine) we decided to skip Blackwells and go coffee/cookie shop hunting :-) it was lots of fun. I love Fiona, I think you should all meet her because I've never EVER met anyone like her. She's half German, half scottish, in love with languages, in LOVE with Harry Potter (she LOVES that her surname in Potter!) and wants to learn old languages in order to teach herself Elvish (she also likes LOTR). She's also one of those people who isn't afraid to shout if she doesn't understand something (which at Kendrick is RARE indeed). So yeah, we love Fiona :-)
Onto "Skins". I'm not sure how I feel about this program but from the few times I have watched it, it seems to have the potential of being scarily addictive. It's one of those programs that will guarantee my parents walking into the room whilst somebody is having sex (which in skins is always VERY graphic!) I guess what bugs me the most is that it almost claims to be a realistic portrayal of teenage life, which is absurd. For one thing, where do the characters get all their money for drugs when they don't work? Secondly, how can they have such a busy/hetic social life and still do well in their A Levels - I swear I've never seen one of them even pick up a textbook. One of my friends suggested that we have a "Skins Rave" which means watching the entire first series, whilst getting "pissed" (for me drinking tea - I'm such a granny!) and then writing an essay on how it's all LIES. That is geeky Kendrick socials for you. But it's true, it's all lies (oooooooooooooooo see what I did there?) However, if I'm honest, the only reason I'm not a regular viewer is cos I'm not usually awake that late on a Thursday night. *sigh*
Right time for homework
ciao x
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)