NEW SITE!

Hey lovely people. So I've been playing around with a new design and platform over the last couple of weeks and have finally decided to launch it properly. It's still very much a work in progress, like this blog has been, but I think that's what I love the most about reading other people's blogs. I love to see how the design and the content grow with the writer. It's awesome. I am so grateful to everyone who has read and commented on this little thing over the years. I appreciate it so much. Please feel free to join me over at www.ellie-speaks.com

A Weekend in East London

I bought my little Canonet 28 (pictured above)  for £8 in a charity shop on Whiteladies. I wanted to challenge myself with an uber analogue camera because I thought it might help me take better pictures in general. Unfortunately, I took an entire roll of film without feeding it through properly so my first experiment was a complete disaster; I mourn the loss of those black and white snaps more than I should. However, I didn't let it defeat me and VOILA we have a complete roll of photos. I need to work on the focus a bit more, but I'm just so pleased that none of them came out dark and shadowy. These are completely naked, no edits just the whimsy fuzz of sunshine and feeling content. 

It felt very indulgent to use an entire roll of film for one weekend, but I was so desperate to find out if the camera was working. These are from a little London weekend break a few weeks ago. I went to a film workshop on the South Bank and then wandered down to the river towards Tower Hamlets with my coz. The Sunday morning was so fine. We walked through Brick Lane up to Columbia Rd Flower Market where we basked in the sunshine, listened to street artists and marvelled at the flowers. I can't believe that it's taken me this long to properly explore East London - it's where my people are at! I felt so at home. I kept pointing out houses that I'd like to live in and parks that I'd like to sit in and cafes and bars I'd like to drink in. It was like inspiration overload. There was also such a huge sense of community that I feel is often missing from the parts of London I often frequent and it's given me so much hope that moving to the capital next year doesn't have to be soulless and corporate. I love how cultures smash together in smells and sights and sounds. I felt proud and excited. More importantly, they make really good coffee. 

Seeking Inspiration

How often do you nurture a space where inspiration can drop by? It's so easy to treat being inspired as a passive verb, but in reality it requires a little actioning from our side of the fence. You gotta pick up the book, go for that walk, watch that film, listen to that song, book those flights - sometimes all it takes is a little bit of silence, a short walk, a chat with a friend. I'm so bad at making time to be inspired and then wonder why I find myself empty and gasping for air near the end of term. I use the excuse of being paralysed by choice (which, to be fair to myself, is often the case) but a lot of the time I'm just lazy and spend far too much time scrolling through social media (although that can also be inspiring) It's partly why this blog has been so quiet recently, that and the fact that I've barely had time to do my laundry over the past couple of weeks (hair drying your underwear every Monday morning is just not okay) What I'm hoping is that there's a few of us in the same boat and that perhaps we could all pitch in and inspire each other. So, please recommend me books, music, activities, places, websites I've made a space so please, please, please take the time to drop by. 

Laugh

photo by Michael Ochs, 1956

Laughter might just be my favourite thing on the planet. I like how every laugh is different, from giggles to guffaws, sniggers to chortles, every laugh has a different cadence, a different life behind it. When people ask me how things are going at the moment, I tend to mention that I'm laughing a lot. Cos I am. Everyday, deep, shaky, belly laughs that ring in my toes; a sign that life is happy and well spent. The more I laugh, the easier it becomes. It's infected the areas of my life that were previously un-funny and I catch myself holding a broad smile on the daily commute to and from school. I'm so lucky to be surrounded by people who make laughing easy, who don't censure the regular cackles that explode from my mouth, but tickle them with their humour and their joie de vivre. Thank you thank you thank you. Go laugh. It's good for you. 

3 Days in Berlin

'Du bist verrückt mein Kind, du mußt nach Berlin' (you are crazy my child, you need to go to Berlin)

3 days stomping the streets, listening to BOY - Mutual Friends on repeat. Stopping for coffee and to look at the sky and to take photographs of the tops of the buildings. Wandering into theatres to browse their repertoire, hopping on trains to visit friends North, South, East, West. I covered most of the city in a pair of battered converse and a tote bag, club mate swinging at my side. We know each other, this city and I. We understand the heaviness and we understand excitement. We like to work hard and rush about, but we also like to float and spend time just watching. We like space and openness, we like grit, we like the clash of cultures and how you can always find your way back to Alexanderplatz. We like to be close to beauty and expose the ugly. But most of all, we like being a constant work in progress.